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Saturday, March 29, 2003
 
No Bestiality Delivered
So I joined GirlRanch. The first thing I did was check out the thumbnails for their "Goat Girl Gallery". I didn't even click on any of the pics. I just wanted to see if there were any pics of the girl and the goat getting it on. Nope. The goat kept its distance from the girl, but at least the goat was in almost all of the pictures.

The rest of the galleries were even worse. One featuring a girl and a horse looked like it was someone's photoshop experiment; the girl and the horse were obviously not even in the same *barn*! Her figure was cut out and superimposed in front of the horse, with fake shadows laying around everywhere and bits of her underthings pasted into the hay maw.The chick was nowhere NEAR a horse when the pic was taken. Definitely not the horse-cocksucking I had been hoping for.

I took a look at a gallery named "Puppy Love" -- out of about 75 pictures, only ONE pic even had a dog in the picture. Again, the girl and the dog showed no physical signs of affection. The final insult was a gallery with some cute owl name. I wondered what in the world could be remotely sexy about an owl . . . but I do like owls so scanned through that gallery. There were only a couple pictures with the owl even in the photos . . . and the owl was STUFFED!!

It's hard to get turned on when the creators of this site obviously are purposefully misleading people. Fucking assholes!! The good thing about it was I got access to all of their other sites. In actuality, the $1.85 trial membership for three days was totally worth it even though I didn't get the explicit dog fucking and horse sucking I hoped for. Sigh. They *did* have tons of other content that was worth seeing. The gay hentai and some other stuff inspired about five orgasms for me. I'll write more about that later . . .

One thing that was worth at least the cost of the trial was free access to Hustler video feeds. Like "Jail Babes". The vid I watched started out as just an interview -- but I love female lawbreakers. The Jail Babes video I watched was the first "straight" porn I've masturbated to in a long time (usually I prefer guy-on-guy stuff). The woman served over two years for robbing a bank when she was eighteen. "Michelle" was smart and articulate and the interviewer asked genuine non-sexual questions ("can you really get *anything* in prison?") about the full range of her experiences. As a result, there was a delicious build-up so that it seemed a lot naughtier when he did inject a sexual question. I mean, it seemed so genuinely inappropriate and real, not staged and fakey. She didn't seem like the type who was trying to "sell sex", she was just telling the truth. She never said anything extremely explicit, but she did talk a little about having female lovers in prison and having to be super sneaky to avoid getting caught by the guards. It was SO hot, I came before they even showed the "staged" part at the end of the interview where Hustler gave her a girl to get it on with.

If you're interested in Jail Babes I probably wouldn't bother joining GirlRanch (even though it does have a nice variety of content without ever delivering on the farm animal stuff). I would either go rent one of the Jail Babes movies or join Hustler Platinum and be able to watch any and all of the Hustler vids of your choice. The sheer number of videos in the jail babes series is worth it alone. If you're going to join a corporate site, may as well go for something legendary.

Click for pop-up free entry:

$2.95 for a 3-day trial