The explorations of a female porn connoisseur.

 
Pornstalgia
It seems like I'm so busy creating my own porn that I rarely seem to look at all the non-Trixie porn plugged-in to my site and houseboy's site already. That's too bad, because a lot of it is top notch.

Pornstalgia is one of my favorites featuring vintage porn flicks. I love retro porn - it's not sanitized and fake like so much contemporary porn. Old pornography is hairy, fleshy, and convincing.

The other day I watched one of my favorites, "Smart Alec" with the most luscious Candy Barr (one of those fit yet appropriately fleshy old-fashioned girls proving that you don't need a gym membership or plastic surgery to have a perfect body). One of the best parts of the movie appears almost immediately when the guy starts groping her breast in a way I never see in today's porn. He cups it, squeezes it and rotates her boob up and around and back down while pushing down the fabric. Her tit looks SO palpably fatty and juicy unlike the standard silicone jug of today. Mmmm!! Watching the groping aroused me.






My other favorite part of the movie involves some wrestling between Candy Barr and the man who tries to straddle her chest and force his dick in her mouth.




She fights him off and THAT is just . . . yeah. Sexy. She comes up with a creative way to satisfy his need for oral sex, but I won't spoil it for you. You can join TastyTrixie.com or TrixiesHouseboy.com to watch it for yourself. I believe it's clip 8 on Pornstalgia which you can get to from our members-only pages.

I do have a couple of problems with my Pornstalgia plug-in; one is that they overdubbed some obnoxious ragtimey silent movie piano roll music for all of the films audio. Another problem is they flat out lie about when the movies were actually made. They say that a movie is circa 1936 when clearly it's much younger than that; the woman is wearing a bullet bra for Christ's sake. 1936 my ass!! And with "Smart Alec" they tell us the movie was copyrighted in 1972. Maybe that's when they reissued it or something, because the movie was actually filmed in 1951. Or perhaps they lied for legal reasons concerning the age of the young porn starlet, Candy Barr? Hmmm. . .
posted by Trixie Fontaine at 9:52 AM

 
No Bestiality Delivered
So I joined GirlRanch. The first thing I did was check out the thumbnails for their "Goat Girl Gallery". I didn't even click on any of the pics. I just wanted to see if there were any pics of the girl and the goat getting it on. Nope. The goat kept its distance from the girl, but at least the goat was in almost all of the pictures.

The rest of the galleries were even worse. One featuring a girl and a horse looked like it was someone's photoshop experiment; the girl and the horse were obviously not even in the same *barn*! Her figure was cut out and superimposed in front of the horse, with fake shadows laying around everywhere and bits of her underthings pasted into the hay maw.The chick was nowhere NEAR a horse when the pic was taken. Definitely not the horse-cocksucking I had been hoping for.

I took a look at a gallery named "Puppy Love" -- out of about 75 pictures, only ONE pic even had a dog in the picture. Again, the girl and the dog showed no physical signs of affection. The final insult was a gallery with some cute owl name. I wondered what in the world could be remotely sexy about an owl . . . but I do like owls so scanned through that gallery. There were only a couple pictures with the owl even in the photos . . . and the owl was STUFFED!!

It's hard to get turned on when the creators of this site obviously are purposefully misleading people. Fucking assholes!! The good thing about it was I got access to all of their other sites. In actuality, the $1.85 trial membership for three days was totally worth it even though I didn't get the explicit dog fucking and horse sucking I hoped for. Sigh. They *did* have tons of other content that was worth seeing. The gay hentai and some other stuff inspired about five orgasms for me. I'll write more about that later . . .

One thing that was worth at least the cost of the trial was free access to Hustler video feeds. Like "Jail Babes". The vid I watched started out as just an interview -- but I love female lawbreakers. The Jail Babes video I watched was the first "straight" porn I've masturbated to in a long time (usually I prefer guy-on-guy stuff). The woman served over two years for robbing a bank when she was eighteen. "Michelle" was smart and articulate and the interviewer asked genuine non-sexual questions ("can you really get *anything* in prison?") about the full range of her experiences. As a result, there was a delicious build-up so that it seemed a lot naughtier when he did inject a sexual question. I mean, it seemed so genuinely inappropriate and real, not staged and fakey. She didn't seem like the type who was trying to "sell sex", she was just telling the truth. She never said anything extremely explicit, but she did talk a little about having female lovers in prison and having to be super sneaky to avoid getting caught by the guards. It was SO hot, I came before they even showed the "staged" part at the end of the interview where Hustler gave her a girl to get it on with.

If you're interested in Jail Babes I probably wouldn't bother joining GirlRanch (even though it does have a nice variety of content without ever delivering on the farm animal stuff). I would either go rent one of the Jail Babes movies or join Hustler Platinum and be able to watch any and all of the Hustler vids of your choice. The sheer number of videos in the jail babes series is worth it alone. If you're going to join a corporate site, may as well go for something legendary.

Click for pop-up free entry:

$2.95 for a 3-day trial
posted by Trixie Fontaine at 12:05 PM

 
Will it Have Real Bestiality or Not?
This is my first entry in my brand new blog. I already have another blog (The Wandering WebWhore) but felt compelled to begin a new blog specifically to log my exploration of pornography.

I just joined GirlRanch. I did it mostly because I am curious whether or not it will actually have real bestiality or if everything will just be implied.

Not that it would turn me on to see real bestiality. No. Not me. That's not why I joined at all.

I'll report back here after I browse the site.

This site is pop-up free

$1.85 for a 3-day trial
posted by Trixie Fontaine at 11:51 AM